Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Meaning of Life

(A Humanities Course Term Paper)
(Some lines are direct rip-offs from sources, hopefully no-one will complain. I couldn't think of framing them better)

A natural characteristic of conscious and rational minds is to try to explain its own existance. Deconstruction the statement, 'meaning' implies intention, aim or design, typical features of intelligent life. 'Life' is tough to explain philosophically, it automatically implies a period of existance, and non-existance(i.e death) of a consciousness. Further, the essense of life as implied in the 'Meaning of life' question, is in the first person. Of what significance is my life?

Humans have struggled for millennia to tackle this question, various philosophical and religious interpretations appearing over the years. Wars have been fought over them. But as much as these questions cause people to lose their heads (sometimes figuratively, sometimes literally), the bottom line is that these are very practical questions. The meaning of life is deeply mixed with the philosophical and religious conceptions of existence, consciousness, and happiness, and touches on many other issues, such as value, purpose, ethics, good and evil, free will, conceptions of God, the soul, and the afterlife. If we could claim ascertaining the true meaning of life, we could possibly answer other questions like 'What does it mean to be alive?' and 'Do I have free will?'.

The beliefs, principles and memories of an individual form his personal reality, and in our personal belief system, we attempt to find motivation for going about everyday tasks. However, this mirage is shattered, when one tries to takes an perspective from outside oneself, a view of our actions at a cosmic/philosophical stage. This starts an open discussion on the significance of anything we do, of going about life itself, if as soon as two hundred years in the future, our life and most traces of it will cease to exist.

We might try to derive meaning of our lives by association with something inherently bigger. Like, considering we influenced the lives of others(our friends and relations), were a part of an ecological system, played one generation of evolution, or were a part of a social, ideological movement. But then the question of meaning just switches to this bigger phenomenon. What makes this more meaningful with respect to true reality? Case in point , what is the point of human generations? All of human history? We might try to explain in terms of still bigger associations, but they continue to pose the same question. Now either we chance infinite regression, or we satisfy ourselves at a point where we consider reason not necessary. Where an act just exists, and no meaning is required for its existance. Since the claim of knowledge of true reality is itself dubious, we will have to settle for an answer which satisfies just our concept of reality. And hence, the justification of 'no reason required for phenomenon P' is satisfactory for anyone who truly believes it. But if no reason was required for P, why not for an earlier iteration, or for the first iteration, i.e our individual life. Why did that not satisfy us in itself, and this does?

This is exactly the attribute which makes religion very appealing, in its seeming ability to give automatic reason to anything and everything. The idea of God seems to be the idea of something that can explain everything else, without having to be explained itself. No one asks “What is the reason for God?”, but following the path of God, and God as the ultimate explanation, always makes sense. Some religions outrighly, while others subtly declare the methods of God beyond human comprehension, and thus beyond question. We are in essence given the retort to the meaning of life as that we can't understand it. However, a tentative analysis gives the following as the aims of life as described commonly in religion includes:
a) Worship of a supreme transcendental God, or
b) To serve as a training ground for a higher reality
c) To help and support his fellowmen,
d) Attainment of skills and knowledge.
All these can be thought of as attaching oneself with a higher noble goal, which as discussed, still leaves the meaning question unsettled.

It seems remarkable that people, experiencing this dilemna as a natural followup of their existance, find it in themselves to go about their daily activities. The trick, so to speak, is to keep our field of perspective narrow, and focus on what's in front of us, and see their existance as their justification. The fact that our existance might be pointless if overwhelmed by the fact that we exist. We can also argue that “Does it matter that it doesn't matter?”, which is perfectly acceptable. The perpetual discussions might be depressing or maddening, but are seldom satisfactory.


Bibliography
1)“What Does It All Mean?” Oxford University Press, by Thomas Nigel.
2)Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meaning_of_life
3)http://aristotle.net/~diogenes/meanmind.htm

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

End of Fantasy

Do what you want they* tell you. How does life stop being a stereotype? Are we relegated to being just another 'brick in the wall'? Can't we take delight in just being 'normal'? Why is the inner world so dissociated from the outer world, that we cannot realize everything is exactly as we experience it, and nothing else?

God doesn't matter. You are truly and fully responsible for all your actions. In a small way, the state of the world is my own making. Non reversible, not recoverable. Is that a bit scary? Either you do a thing, or you don't. The statement 'I could have ..' is moot.

I am writing exactly the kind of post I never thought I would.

I can see the whole world working, every incident opening the possibility of myriad others, only waiting for me to choose one. But will anything be different whatever I choose? Isn't it all circles ending at the same predefined course of my life? Will I be happier? Happiness can be synthesized, its a mind state. The only things stopping everyone from being happy is a) competition with neighbors, and b) non self actualization. Temporary happiness doesn't require much, and its probably the only true happiness.

JEE, CAT, is anyone even thinking? High schoolers don't have any idea what engg is, undergrads have no idea what management is.

Its so easy to let the crowd make your decisions. Easy to behave as you are expected to behave. So tough to remain proactive when you are on a different route. But why should you be on a different route? A person doing correct things unconsciously is happier than a conscious person unable to do the correct things.

Is there such a thing as 'your calling'? The concept is almost as ridiculous as a soulmate(You might guess I don't like Paulo Coelho). It feels like a mirage we like to believe in to make excuses for our less than perfect present with hopes of a more perfect future.

You are what you are. This is what it is.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Plus two

This is a topic I have long procrastinated posting, three years to be exact. I cannot be sure what exactly has kept me, lack of enthusiasm, lazyness, 'guts' or whatever. But it might just be the most controversial topic to be raised yet, but probably I am just overreacting, and anyways the blog has hardly any readers.

Well I think every IIT 'qualifier' has a story to tell, some words of wisdom to depart, except me. I truly admire people who have had to switch cities, adopt a totally new lifestyle, broaden their horizons, and gruel for two(or more) whole years preparing for the venerable exam. But first things first. How/Why did I decide to give the JEE?

It was almost an automatic decision. It was love at first sight when I saw my first computer, in class II probably, at a friend's house, and I used to be pampered and allowed to play Alladin, Prince, Wolfenstein 3d hours on end. Taking up medicine was out of the question, and that doesn't leave much left. (The blunder of taking Electical as a major, is quite another story.) It must be noted that I havn't ever had the habit of working for stuff I want, but given the ambience of the period, there was little else you could do. I still consider two years for any one exam a very silly affair, specially since everyone almost unanimously says they didn't do anything while in 11th; which might be an unfaithful answer, but thats not the point.

And so we joined FIITJEE, which meant we got to just go to a nice AC room(where we were delivered by a chartered auto), get (arguably)good education and ready made study packages, all in the name of preparing for the career. Of course the whole group at school was together there too, which resulted in regular hilarious lunch breaks(at someone's expense), not to discredit the lectures, which were equally jovial.

I run the risk of portraying myself as a arrogant slob, when I say I never considered JEE tough. In fact, one of my main motivations for preparing was actually to prove it, to flout the 'toughness'. And I still believe it. JEE is more of a hype created by training institutes than anything else. So its give by 300k people, but out of those less than 50k should even be considered as fair competition. I think if its just qualifying you are after, it should be breakfast. The main challenge is getting a proper rank. Its like people are making an effort to be stupid.

There are I would say are two defects which barr me from being the perfect candidate for JEE. One, my laziness, and two, I have a really pathetic memory, specially for numerical figures. However, these were resolved quite conveniently and automatically. One of the recurring features of the two years was my talking on the phone for hours solving people's doubts and clarifying concepts. Some of these concepts being which I had not read and hence I would ask them to explain to me first before solving the questions. This took care of my complacency delightfully, as I would always be in the know of the tougher questions and at least upto date with whatever others had studied. The problem of memory is more interesting. I am simply unable to memorise formulas or methods, and hence I had to understand the proofs and workings, making sure I found it obvious to proceed in the particular way. Although this hasn't been so successful in college, it always worked like a charm at the time, IIT being tailored with questions relating to proofs and concepts.

It did not dawn upon me until the very end the implications of being unselected, I always considered a done and out deal. The realisation came at the very end, I expect the period was after boards and before the exam, a good time to have your pants on fire.

An underrated attribute of the whole preparation phase is the importance of confidence. Confidence that you can solve a problem. That the question was made by a human, and it is meant to be solved, not handed down by some divinity and only to be touched by the gifted. This paranoia effects more people than you expect, some very good minds faltering just because of the destruction of their self-confidence.

Anyway what I pride myself of the period more than anything, is not falling for any of the foolhardy hypes or fads. It is actually intriguing to see folks just whiling away time in anonymous pursuits and then considering themselves not good enough for the exam. Well, in a way its true. Also, (and this is true for college as well, however here I find myself in the foolhardy category)another hilarious statement you get to hear is "If I study that much, I will be a lot more ahead." Right, really smart.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

The German Misadventure-1

Well it really has been a long time since I posted. I don't seem to recall my last post-it might very well have been about my last intern, but I'm feeling too lazy to check.

Anyway, to be honest, this post doesnt have much to do with a sudden reawakening of my desire to be part of the blogosphere again. The thing is, I haven't made any real human contact in like 3 days. It is finally starting to get on my nerves.

But first, about the place. What strikes you first, more than anything else, is that Germany is ordered-almost frighteningly so. You know how in India the cars at a traffic light(if there is one) always stick fender-to-fender? Well in this town at least, they seem to unerringly maintain a distance of at least 1 m. They never deviate, not even in the middle of the day during office hours.

That experience might of course be different in some other town. My town, Aachen, is a relatively small town, things would probably be different in Berlin or Frankfurt.

The people are unhealthily polite. I've been 'hallo'-ed by perfect strangers not just inside my dorm, but also on the road, in the station, in the airport and of course in the university. And its not as if they want to start a conversation or anything- most of them either can't speak in English, or are uncomfortable speaking it.

Now I had the misfortune of being alloted a single room, with my own kitchen. Also, I can login to my university's lab from my room, so I don't really have to move out of my room. Add to that the fact the net is incredibly fast here and you can download anything you want, its amazing I've even stepped out of my room. But then, as I have come to realize, one does eventually need to talk to people.

There are of course those who have come here on an intern of their own. 2 others from my college, some assorted people from NITs, and one guy from IIT B. Anyway, I didn't exactly hit it off with them, despite my best efforts, so this weekend I found myself opting out of a trip to Paris with them and staying home sitting on my ass.

As I said, I haven't had any human contact in 3 days...since people can cook their meals in their rooms, they dont have to step out at all, and they don't. Its becoming so annoying that I probably will have to go to work tomorrow, and make friends with the rest of the guys.

There have been some benefits- I have learnt the rudiments of cooking and I have seen several good looking girls-good looking not just by iit standards, but generally, and of course this has forced me to start innovating to find things to do-which I believe is a good thing, however depressing it might be.

I hope to make a trip to Brussels next weekend, but I can't be sure. Expect my next post soon!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Bangaluru week 1

So an year after Rahul romping his curls on the streets of this maddu-land, I find myself banished to the same fate, albiet without the curls. As expected, the first week was a hotch potch of over-charging auto drivers, dosa-sambhar, catching wrong buses and dosa-sambhar again. (Btw, you really feel the power of cultural segregations on a southie trip, all the advertisements you can see only have Deekipa Padukone, Madhavan+Vidya Balan, or Asin. Its literally scary to imagine if suddenly the Tamils declare a fatwa against all outsiders while ur there. Sheer numbers matter) Currently, we happen to be in search of safe havens where the white-collars hang out. MG road has been rumored to be one, (our office is its wrong end, so havnt been there yet), and Forum confirmed as.

Some facts to be noted:
1) All north-indian eating joints(dhabas) are punjabi house.
2) MacDonalds is cheaper here.
3) The buses actually have the front seats reserved for women, as the well-informed ladies are quick to point out, which makes you imagine a (very-successful) ad campaign by the government (sporting a very forward feminist lead) to sensitise the women of the facility.
4) Some buses have tickets, some have bills, some have neither. And the rate differs between them. The ticketless being the cheapest.
5) Bangalore is big, bigger than Delhi maybe. You end up spending 3 hours in buses if your not careful.
6) Locals can't multi-task, never. Its fruitless to ask an attendant a question while he's in the middle of billing a customer.
7) When ur taking an auto, the driver is doing you a favor.
8) Autos won't get a passanger back from your destination, never mind that its 8 pm and ur going to a hustling market place.

Anyway, the post can't be complete without mentioning the workplace. Its cool, a cafeteria, flexible work hours, high speed net, no strict supervision, doesn't take much to make us happy. Video conferencing company == cool big screens in office. PtbN, lunch makes you sleepy. Coffee half an hour later must.

We got a house, yay, we rented a flat to stay. 6 of us, 6 of us two floors up, ruchus all around. Getting in the cooking atmosphere, starting with sandwiches, maggi, french toast, tea. The bathroom tap makes an eiree noise. TV is a ban. Especially when theres an IPL match everyday and your not the biggest fan.

What else? Went to Nandi hills, Lumbini Gardens on the weekend. Timepass places, won't specially recommend to anybody, but Bangalore doesn't seem to offer much else. Learned a few planning and money managing tips from veterans.

Now to the end, I am wondering why I wrote this blog. Well, we were supposed to maintain a diary, maybe this will do?

PS: Beru, brokerage, research papers

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Of Indecision and the rat race

Havnt felt more like a rat ever. The sense of anonymity dawns upon you as you move through the myriad lanes and side streets to reach your destination, one of the dozens of coaching institutes for CAT in the locality, basically folks banking on a rat's hopes to leave the pack behind, by a little leg up. Its basically the rats in the middle of the race who treasure the bait, folks ahead can have a clearer vision about the scenario, the destination, while folks at the tail can look at other avenues and easily slide off. It's the rats in the middle who find it impossible to dislodge, stuck in a loop, unable to race out, or fall back.

So how did I land into this? How do I find myself yet again, looking at a classroom of 30 youths having paid a small fortune of their parents, to listen to a guy who's just found a way to survive the economy crack? Its indecision, I tell you. The way Indians are brought up, is not to leave anything be, not to take decisions with uncertain outcomes. Not to ratify your realm, and stay put. A greedy algorithm, if you will, for all the cs grads there. You take whatever looks the best at the moment, without looking at all the previous dots connecting your life.

Now for thoughts ravishing my mind this afternoon -

Its sunny today, not hot, but warm, the beautiful weather as you would say. Its reflecting on all the faces, which I silently gaze as I sit on the embankments in front of the coffee shop, waiting for a friend. People hanging out in groups, chatting off before heading off their ways, Profs students alike, everyone with bags. A dog on the sidelines playing with a polythene. Its amazing to think that each of this chappies, just another conscious individual, houses a infinum of space between his/her ears. A million simultaneous, unrelated thoughts raging inside each mind, each his own problems, each his own ambitions, or the lack of. Language, that indispensable link for us to communicate and correlate those thoughts. The improper use of(it can be heard). Everyone is a single entity in essence, yet when we see outside ourselves, we see a hierarchy, a society.

People seem busy, everyone moving with a certainty of knowing what needs to be done. Yet its amazing, for all the advances of ours, we ourselves remain temporary, a piece of a wave on the sea shore coming in, just to be replaced by another in a moment. So how can we be busy? Or we need to be busy to avoid thinking about all such nonsense. Homework needs to be done, classes slept though, events attended. As would be done by the next wave, and the next. As I gaze longer, a shadow begins to appear around people's eyes, or it was there all the time, and I just begun to notice it. A lingering giveaway of a late bedtime, a sign of tiredness, weariness with it all.

Why are people following through? Its indecision, I tell you.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Ghajini

Spilling it while its hot. Here's a too-good-to-believe value deal. Give 5 minutes to read this, and save yourself three hours of the crucifying existence that is Ghajini.
Having loved momento, I was prepared not to be dazzled, but rather curious of the Hindi(rather Malayalam/Tamil/) take on it. I was however left quite appalled. I think the director was confused on what to shower his epsilon sized concentration on, a love story, an action thriller, larger than life altruistic humans, a brother of devil villain, or Aamir Khan's shiny new eight-pack. The movie tries to bring everything, excellence(in any) is a word unheard of. Just touch all famous formulas, and it can't go wrong eh? Well, it can, if you try.

The plot is all too predictive, so are the dialogues. Actually the predictability becomes amusing sometimes, but only when you have already given up hope.
The abstruse depiction of 'short term memory loss' phenomenon(mouthed lavishly by Pradeep Rawat(the villain)) to suit convenience is a gross headache. The memory lasts as long as the scene requires, and loss-moments occur at the most predictive locales. Probably which you already saw in the trailers. The director is just confused whether he is dealing with short-term or long-term memory loss, as when the bad guys beat up our hero and erase his markings(ooopss!! just spoiled a plot point for you), he doesn't remember anything of his romance(which happened well before the incident which took his memory). Hey, but the courtship is well documented in his diaries so not to worry. Our hero is just as pumped up after reading the heart warming diaries. No mention whether he remembered anything of before his hormones kicked in. Also a maniac, animus instinct for howling, muscle flexing and eye popping action seems to accompany this brain handicap.

Action scenes are run-of-the-mill Mithun-da wannabe. All accompanied with a constipated grumble on Aamir Khan's face, every indication that someone slept on the wrong side of bed. A little inspiration from Rajnikant might just have saved the film. Really.

Some things seemed on the right track, the stuff Bollywood excels in. A love story(rich guy, not so girl), a rotten-to-core-with-no-hope-of-redemption villain and the typical bubbly the-world-is-so-beautiful every-mothers-dream-daughter heroine accompanied with the so-not-possible-situational humor. But only to end this delusion, the story-writer decided more ingredients were required to make a really spicy treat so in comes a social cause, full with the coverings of IBN live. The casual attempt of sudden inclusion of real life issues with too-reel story just leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Not to mention a god-so-nosy medical student who one wonders wither came from.

Even the camera angles seem wrong(not in the flashbacks, Bwood has learned that by now). All low cameras with hardly an overhead shot of the famous moon cut, as if the glare off it would ruin the film. Seriously, this was a huge disappointment from an Aamir Khan movie. Its I suppose become the top grosser of 2008(in one week). At least the marketing team seems to be getting the act together, what with the Khan himself offering haircuts for people to save Rs10 for that extra popcorn.

Was I too rough? Maybe, but I haven't blogged in a while, so quit complaining.