End of Fantasy

Do what you want they* tell you. How does life stop being a stereotype? Are we relegated to being just another 'brick in the wall'? Can't we take delight in just being 'normal'? Why is the inner world so dissociated from the outer world, that we cannot realize everything is exactly as we experience it, and nothing else?

God doesn't matter. You are truly and fully responsible for all your actions. In a small way, the state of the world is my own making. Non reversible, not recoverable. Is that a bit scary? Either you do a thing, or you don't. The statement 'I could have ..' is moot.

I am writing exactly the kind of post I never thought I would.

I can see the whole world working, every incident opening the possibility of myriad others, only waiting for me to choose one. But will anything be different whatever I choose? Isn't it all circles ending at the same predefined course of my life? Will I be happier? Happiness can be synthesized, its a mind state. The only things stopping everyone from being happy is a) competition with neighbors, and b) non self actualization. Temporary happiness doesn't require much, and its probably the only true happiness.

JEE, CAT, is anyone even thinking? High schoolers don't have any idea what engg is, undergrads have no idea what management is.

Its so easy to let the crowd make your decisions. Easy to behave as you are expected to behave. So tough to remain proactive when you are on a different route. But why should you be on a different route? A person doing correct things unconsciously is happier than a conscious person unable to do the correct things.

Is there such a thing as 'your calling'? The concept is almost as ridiculous as a soulmate(You might guess I don't like Paulo Coelho). It feels like a mirage we like to believe in to make excuses for our less than perfect present with hopes of a more perfect future.

You are what you are. This is what it is.