Of Indecision and the rat race

Havnt felt more like a rat ever. The sense of anonymity dawns upon you as you move through the myriad lanes and side streets to reach your destination, one of the dozens of coaching institutes for CAT in the locality, basically folks banking on a rat's hopes to leave the pack behind, by a little leg up. Its basically the rats in the middle of the race who treasure the bait, folks ahead can have a clearer vision about the scenario, the destination, while folks at the tail can look at other avenues and easily slide off. It's the rats in the middle who find it impossible to dislodge, stuck in a loop, unable to race out, or fall back.

So how did I land into this? How do I find myself yet again, looking at a classroom of 30 youths having paid a small fortune of their parents, to listen to a guy who's just found a way to survive the economy crack? Its indecision, I tell you. The way Indians are brought up, is not to leave anything be, not to take decisions with uncertain outcomes. Not to ratify your realm, and stay put. A greedy algorithm, if you will, for all the cs grads there. You take whatever looks the best at the moment, without looking at all the previous dots connecting your life.

Now for thoughts ravishing my mind this afternoon -

Its sunny today, not hot, but warm, the beautiful weather as you would say. Its reflecting on all the faces, which I silently gaze as I sit on the embankments in front of the coffee shop, waiting for a friend. People hanging out in groups, chatting off before heading off their ways, Profs students alike, everyone with bags. A dog on the sidelines playing with a polythene. Its amazing to think that each of this chappies, just another conscious individual, houses a infinum of space between his/her ears. A million simultaneous, unrelated thoughts raging inside each mind, each his own problems, each his own ambitions, or the lack of. Language, that indispensable link for us to communicate and correlate those thoughts. The improper use of(it can be heard). Everyone is a single entity in essence, yet when we see outside ourselves, we see a hierarchy, a society.

People seem busy, everyone moving with a certainty of knowing what needs to be done. Yet its amazing, for all the advances of ours, we ourselves remain temporary, a piece of a wave on the sea shore coming in, just to be replaced by another in a moment. So how can we be busy? Or we need to be busy to avoid thinking about all such nonsense. Homework needs to be done, classes slept though, events attended. As would be done by the next wave, and the next. As I gaze longer, a shadow begins to appear around people's eyes, or it was there all the time, and I just begun to notice it. A lingering giveaway of a late bedtime, a sign of tiredness, weariness with it all.

Why are people following through? Its indecision, I tell you.